Enterprising Kiddstuff on the Web

20040224 Bush:

D'oh! Let's try this again...

Another neo-con
Slings mud at the liberals
Instead of thinking

==========

20040225 Greenspan:

We can do this hard
Or we can do this easy
How much cash you got?

==========

20040301 Powell:

Haiti in crisis?
It wasn't US! Move Along!
Nothing to see here...

==========

20040307 Himmelfarb:

showing the public
you're a religious nutcase
isn't always smart

==========

20040309 Brooks:

Wimpy Christians must
learn to burn witches again
or bin Laden wins

The God who owns us
Needs us to smite some sinners
To show them His Love.

==========

20040311 Will:

Haiku George Will:

Conservitard writes
about no child left behind
but he forgets facts!

==========

20040311 Boot:

Sorry, I can't seem to get out of haiku mode:

Democrats say lots
of mean things about junta;
they must be evil!

==========

20040312 Kaus:

A vote for Kerry
is a vote for terrorism
because we say so!

==========

20040313 Brooks:

Hi! I'm David Brooks.
I'll be distracting you now
lying for the Times.

Hi! I'm David Brooks
Misrepresenting Kerry
is what I do best!

==========

20040314 Friedman:

Islamofascists
use terror to train their kids
just like we use greed!

==========

20040315 Safire (2nd try):

D'oh! Start again...

SafLiar takes his turn
Distorting words of Kerry
It is as it was

==========

20040316 Sullivan:

Andrew Sullivan
Argues with his own straw man
To prove black is white

==========

20040317 Safire:

Oil for food program
Has been abused by U.N.,
Not Halliburton!

==========

20040318 Boot:

For comedic smarts
Be sure to think Republic:
We will make you laugh!

==========

20040320 Miller:

Matt Miller must think
'Center' means left of Falwell
SCLM? Not!

==========

20040320 Brooks:

David Brooks haiku doubleshot:

If only Dems would
Do just what Republics want
All would be OK!

David Brooks says that
Chimpco is soaring abroad
I want what he's on...

==========

20040323 Brooks:

Fire and brimstone : much
better than wine and honey
at making us good

It is good to pray
All students should study God
So sayeth David Brooks

==========

20040325 Novak:

Will you please help me
Drag race into Rapid Fire
To slime Richard Clarke?

==========

20040326 Krauthammer:

Lies and made up facts
From another smear merchant
With biased mem'ry

KimcheeHammer lies
But then, like all hypocrites
He makes his flaws theirs.

==========

20040327 Kaus / Instacracker:

Because we got Saddam
The War on Terra is won
Kaus and Glenn agree

==========

20040327 Brooks:

Dick Clarke is a liar
Bush should have slapped him down hard
Did I spin that right?

==========

20040328 Friedman:

My mind is made up -
Reality is awful!
Make my dreams come true?

Tom Friedman has dreams -
He wants to wake up and find
His dreams are now real

==========

20040329 Saletan:

Unborn human life -
Can I get that to go, or
Should I eat it here?

The UVVA
Will not impact women's rights.
Ha! Fooled you again..

==========

20040330 Severin:

Why bother with facts?
Jay knows he can make things up
And duck the question

Liberal talk shows
Can only appeal to the
Worst in all of us.

==========

20040331 RNC:

Very many lies
Help to confuse the issues
So just support Bush!

==========

20040405 Safire:

Never mind the past
Who cares what Rice has to say?
Bush is never wrong...

btw, nice pic of SafLiar! It looks like he's trying to squeeze out another nasty turd, er, his next opinion piece.

==========

20040406 Easterbrook:

Scientific thought
Needs to use faith-based theory
If they want to work

==========

20040407 Instacracker:

Haiku InstaCracker:

Twisting others words
Is the best way I can help
Keep the Chimp in charge

==========

20040408 Rice:

Condi-Liar says
Nine One One is not our fault
Nothing to see here...

==========

20040416 Gang of Four:

Haiku Gang of Four:

Osama still loose
Four months after nine one one...
Let's take out Saddam!

==========

20040417 Brooks:

Haiku David Brooks:

Please don't doubt my words
Just because I was all wrong
Except for Duhbya

==========

20040418 Friedman:

Haiku Tom Friedman:

No clue what to write
No way to cover for Bush
The Times pays for this?

==========

20040420 WaPost OpEd:

Haiku double shot:

The Anointed One
Lies his a$$ off in public
Yet claims he's Christian!

Didn't the Bible
say not to bear false witness?
Crucify the prick!

==========

20040420 Hitchens:

Haiku Hitch:

I won't admit that
I might be wrong in this case
Or any other

==========

20040423 Krauthammer / Ignatius :

Dueling hacks haiku:

Bush can do no wrong
Kerry can do nothing right
Get with the program!

==========

20040423 Arioze:

No communion for
Those who support abortion
In their gub'mint jobs

Those who have Faith
Must use their jobs to promote
The Word of The Lord.

Can I get an Amen?

==========

20040424 Kristof:

Today's Christians scorned
Just because they refuse to
Cease their righteous wrath

==========

20040425 Jacoby:

Double shot haiku Jeff Jacoby:

They say they like us
Then they take our money and
Stab us in the back

The only way to
Show Muslims we care for them
Is to cut their aid

==========

20040425 Mac Donald:

Haiku Heather Mac:

Civil liberties
Will only become stronger
By restricting them

==========

20040427, Brooks:

Haiku Babbling Brooks:

Why can't Democrats
Focus on important things
Instead of our lies?

==========

20040427, Ignatius:

The press might be wrong
But it's because Democrats
Didn't question things

==========

20040427, Lopez:

KLo doubleshot:

Abortions okay
For any feminazis
Who would procreate

Why do some women
Still choose to have abortions?
They must be crazy...

==========

20040429, Boot:

Haiku Max Boot:

I will support bush
Unless Kerry shows me he
Is a neocon
==========

20040501, Brooks (2nd try):

Curses! Foiled again!

Once more with feeling...

Brooksian haiku doubleshot:

Monogamous sex
Is the best way to do it
Because I say so!

Moral deviants
Are wrecking this great nation
And worrying me

==========

20040502, Friedman

Chinese float bad loans
They could bring us down with them
So pray they prosper

==========

20040503, Blitzer:

Hot spam! First out of the gate...

Haiku Wolfie Baby:

Prisoner abuse
Should not be seen as torture
They deserve it, too!

==========

20040504, O'Reilly :

God Gawd A'Mighty! A Blotchy O'Really? Doubleshot..

Doonesbury exploits
Our brave men to make his point
We must make him pay.

We must only use
Patriotic vitriol
When in times of war

==========

20040505 Safire:

Safliar squeezes out
Another mindless stream of
Insane rhetoric

==========

20040506 Friedman:

Neocons starting
To eat their own in public
Time to watch the show!

==========

20040506 Jacoby:

Insane savagery
Used to tar NPR by
Insane neocon

==========

20040506 Boot:

Not enough bloodshed
To satisfy this wing nut
Let's level the place!

==========

20040509 Starr:

You don't like our God?
Then you don't have to say the
Pledge of Allegiance

==========

20040509 Blitzer / Chalabi:

Even Chalabi
Doesn't want to use torture?
Thieves do have honor...

==========

20040510 Safire:

Safliar haiku doubleshot:

Those who slur Rumsfeld
Are helping the terrorists
We should praise the man!

Torture is okay
As long as we can do it
Because we are right!

==========

20040511 Brooks:

Supreme irony -
Yet another neocon
Being ironic

==========

20040512 Safire:

Yet another Safliar doubleshot:

Treason from the Dems!
How dare they try to tell us
That we lost Iraq

If I lie enough
And misdirect a bit more
I can absolve Bush!

==========

20040514 Krauthammer:

Kimcheehammer doubleshot:

Chattering classes:
How dare they require Rumsfeld
To fall on his sword?

Repugnicants flinch
Moral panic everywhere
We must stay the course!

==========

20040518 Brooks:

Americans have
Historically flown by
The seat of their pants

==========

20040519 Safire:

One chemical shell
Proves all our reasons were right
In every way

==========

20040521 Ignatius:

Let's pull together
And help the Democrats to
Screw their own party

Kerry can't unite
the nation unless he ruins
his campaign ticket

==========

20040522 Kristof:

It is premature
to ask Rumsfeld to resign:
He was not in pics!

==========

20040522 Brooks:

Israeli fence good:
Palestinian people
Can't be seen by Jews

==========

20040524 Safire:

Doubleshot Safliar:

Hatfields and McCoys
In the U.S. government
Fight over Iraq

Chalabi was our
greatest asset in Iraq
Because I say so!

==========

20040530 Friedman (second post):

D'oh! start again...

Iraqi people
can liberate themselves - if
we like what they do

==========

20040531 Hiatt:

Screed questioning Bush
Uses Democrats as hawks
And Zell as a Dem

==========

20040603 Boot:

Trifecta time:

Fever dream spews forth
Apocalyptic visions
And glorifies war

World War Two does not
speak to the young Europeans
who see U.S. lies

Veiled threats and scoldings
From someone trying to sell
Iraq as just war

==========

20040603 Limbaugh fellating Boot:

Rush Limbaugh decides
To fellate Max Boot on air
For selling Bush's war

Poor little rich kid
says Lucky Duckies are spoiled
Takes one to know one

==========

20040610 Bush:

Thank you for this chance
To use D Day as a prop
To get elected!

I will take questions -
Just don't expect any sense
In my responses

==========

20040610 Boot:

haiku Boot doubleshot:

Bush dumb as Reagan
But cannot communicate
So he's great Prez, too!

Dumb?Yeah! needs Ray-Gun
For campaign prop in the fall
Let the spin begin!

==========

20040611 Yoo:

Traitors! Leaking news
that admin tried to lawyer
around rules of war

==========

20040613 Hoagland:

Neocon tries to
Put some lipstick on the pig
Of Bush empire build

G-8 leaders were
Wary of crossing U.S.
Torturer in Chief

==========

20040613 Dershowitz:

We need to make rules
If we want to use torture
Like civilized men

==========

20040614 Safliar

Base right wing response
When asked to make compromise:
Give us even more!

==========

20040615 Brooks:

Framing the debate
And blaming the liberals:
Standard right wing fare.

==========

20040617 WaPostEd:

Cheney doesn't lie
When he obfuscates the truth.
Question not our words!

==========

20040617 Boot:

Stupid not evil
Is not the way to follow
In Ray-Gun's footsteps

==========

20040617Klinghoffer:

Religious nutjob
Projects his insanity
On his enemies

==========

20040619 Brooks:

Lie about Kerry
Hoping someone buys the lies:
Republic game plan.

==========

20040621 Safliar:

Reality slams
Into Safliar's delusions
Where will this spin end?

==========

20040621 Snitchens:

Lies 'bout Democrats
Lies fellating Republics
Lies from start to end.

==========

20040621 Shafer:

Looks like we can't sue
To stop Moore's film from showing
So we'll slime him instead!

==========

20040622 Brooks:

Judging candidates
By random faith-based standards:
More Brooksian spin.

By the way, this article looked, even more than usual, like Brooks does not believe in what he is advocating...

Serve and Volley...

Brooks specializes
in GOP talking points
presented as fact.

the talking dog

"Hey I just thought of another great reason why Democratic candidates should abandon their base and be more like Republicans! This time I have statistics."

Faith-based government
works great: look at the Mid-East.
Silly Dems, try it!

Steve Huntley

Dawg!

What a beautifically poetic compliment to my post just before! It melds well with the one right afterwards, too!

You realize we've been at this dueling haiku thing for over a third of a year now? Joltin' Joe's got nothing on this...

(: Tom :)

Haiku is the perfect compliment to Elton's posts-- conveniently summarized for busy busy busy people. And when it works... there is no substitute!

Anyway, I never thought of it as "dueling"... more like "complementing..."

Now get back to haiku-ing!!!

the talking dog

hahahaha!

Actually, I was thinking of dueling Brando's (with John Belushi and Peter Boyle) on SNL many moons ago...

Religious campaign
Is what Bush put his faith in:
Kerry must follow

(: Tom :)

==========

20040624 Boot:

Can't understand why
Clinton hated and Bush loved...
Time to spin it right!

==========

20040624 Hoagland:

No one believes Bush
when he tries to chase his tail
in the WhiteWash House

==========

20040624 Cheney:

One of the hired hands
Dares to challenge right wing lies
So let's cuss him out!

Bonus 20040624 Coalition of the Wild-Eyed:
Liberals are wrong
To be mean to Republics:
They're the good guys!

==========

20040626 Sullivan:

Let's frame the debate
So Kerry chases Republic base
Of religous right

==========

20040627 Friedman:

I'll be gone three months:
Let's put on the tin foil hat
Once more ere I go

==========

20040629 Brooks:

Partisan divide
Getting wider than ever:
It's the system's fault!

==========

20040630 Kristof:

Bush would never lie!
He did stretch the truth a bit
Just like Bill Clinton!

==========

20040630 Waldman:

Dems diss colored folk
When they won't turn their platform
Into faith-based screed.

==========

20040701 Cohen:

Cohen haiku doubleshot:

Orwellian leaps
of neocon fantasies
with a side of lies

Watching Moore's film
Is a sign you're part of the
Lying loony left

==========

20040705 MTP:

Joe: Republic shill?
Somehow this seems to be just
The same old story

==========

20040707 Safliar:

Charisma transplant
Sorely sought by hack writer
With no writing skills

==========

20040711 WaPost:

Nothing to see here!
Mistakes were made - not by Bush!
(well... not that you'll see...)

==========

20040711 Allen:

Religious belief
Needs to be a requirement
To run for office

==========

20040713 Pretzelboy logic:

Special Torturer in Chief doubleshot:

Let me lie again
Right to Amerika's face
It works well for me!

Pay no attention
To the lack of any truth
In the things Smirk says

==========

20040714 Safire:

Safliar doubleshot:

Republic Kool-Aid
produces Safliar visions
Devoid of reason

Doublethink redux
From standard Repugnicant
Partisan nonsense

==========

20040715 Boot:
second try

D'oh! start again...

Chimpy's dreams about
American empire go well
"It's good to be king!"

==========

20040717 Brooks:

Brooksian trifecta:

I long for the day
When rich people can be rich
And ignore morals

Kerry and Edwards
Keep using the word "values":
They don't have the right!"

Blue blood Democrat
Pretends he shares our values
Unlike pRezNit Smirk

==========

20040717 Negroponte:

Iraq can only
Make offers that the U.S.
Is loath to refuse

==========

20040719 Safire:

Safliar doubleshot:

Wilson caught lying -
So it's okay to ruin
His wife's livelihood

"Bush speaks the plain truth!"
At least it seems to be true
For dishonest hacks

==========

20040720 Lieberman / Kyl:
We have turned the ride!
Iraqis make their own rules
Under martial law

Did Lieberman get
The same stuff they give Safliar
To mess his head up?

==========

20040721 Sestanovich:

Random equivalence
In intelligence failures
"Clinton did it too!"

==========

20040722 Smrik:

No comment from Smirk:
God hasn't let him know yet
Who he needs to smite

==========

20040728 Safire:

We do love the Safliar doubleshot here at the Funny Farm!

So easy to win
Arguments against straw men
I invent myself

Looks like Bush flip flops
Can't be hid: quick, slime Kerry!
Straddle this, Safliar...

==========

20040731 Brooks:

Brooks doubleshot:

They have spiked my drink!
For a moment there I thought
Kerry was McCain

Brooks has dared to dream
That his Repugnicant schemes
Sell like free ice cream

==========

20040906? Brooks:

Another case of
Repugnicant jujitsu:
Chide foes for your acts.

To Elton:

How did you manage
to post your returning short
On a Cheneyed day?

(Tuesday, September 6th? I thought Monday was September 6th this year)

Ed. Note: post date changed to Tuesday, September 7th by Elton

==========

20040910 Ignatius:

Bush has been lying
about making us safer
But Kerry is worse!

==========

20040913 Safire:

Safliar got this note
Straight from Little Green Fascists:
Make our lies sound true!

==========

20040914 Brooks:

Neocon depressed
Because no one wants to play
His neocon game

==========

20040916 Boot:

All sorts of straw men
Are thoroughly rebutted:
Mission accomplished!

==========

20040916 Cohen:

Why do some hate Bush?
Their ire makes me want to keep
The royal purple

==========

20040918 Brooks:

Olde English slamfest
Purports to malign Kerry:
This shiite doth smell foul!

==========

20040920 Hiatt:

Pooty Poot goes rogue
And turns into a tyrant
Just like pRezNit Smirk

==========

20040921 Brooks:

Redefine Kerry
So it's easy to slam him:
This is how Brooks works

==========

20040922 Kristof:

Dirty politics
Are now used by both parties:
Dems should cut it out!

==========

20040922 Safire:

Safliar obsessesd on
Repug setup of memos
And blames Dems again

==========

20040925 Krauthammer:

Aussies latest friends
Victimized by terrorists:
It's all Kerry's fault!